Business & Tech

Is There Really Such a Thing as a Secret Menu?

It seems Secret Menus aren't so secret anymore, thanks to social media. What's on your favorite - secret - menu?

 

The idea of a restaurant having a so-called "secret menu" seems odd to me. After all, if it's truly a secret, then why does everyone know about it?

I mean, if the menu was a real secret, then why not call it "The really secret menu that nobody knows about - really - and if you tell anyone about it, we'll have to get rid of you." That menu.

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But these days, where everyone knows everything about everybody - or so it seems - there are no secrets anymore.

Think about it. Here's an analogy.

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One of my favorite Internet articles that circulates and surfaces every six months: Secret Beaches Nobody Knows About! I mean, really. Maybe the author doesn't expect anyone to read the article! Therefore, it stays a secret! I get it! (Wow, the tongue in my cheek really hurts.)

So perhaps a restaurant's secret menu is a faddish way - great marketing in retrospect - to get more folks inside the door. You know, you enter the restaurant, approach the 17-year-old kid at the counter, and state, in your most emphatically-Clouseau way "I know what's on your secret menu," waving a finger in the air, thinking he's going to feel he's in the midst of a mental giant. One, albeit, with a bad French accent.

But he reacts quickly. "Oh, you want the McDouble without pickles and ketchup, the Big Mac special sauce, lettuce and extra onions for $1.29 rather than paying $3.30 for the real thing? No problem. Anything to drink?"

And it continues when you get to Starbucks later in the afternoon as a happy hostess takes your order.

"So sir, you'd like a Double-Shot Espresso in a full cup of ice for $1.95 instead of a Grande Iced Latte for $3.55, and you'll head over to the milk and sugar bar to top off the cup with the dairy item of your choice? No problem. Coming right up."

It's all the (secret) rage these days. Everyone, it seems, has a secret menu.

There are "Animal-Style Fries", and the "Protein Burger" - two cheeseburger patties wrapped in lettuce with no bun — at In-N-Out Burger.

Panera Bread now offers "Power Bowls" - filled with meat, vegetables or hummus - that have no bread. They aren't on the posted menu.

And Taco Bell has the "Shell Game", Doritos shells in place of regular taco shells inside the Cheesy Gordita Crunch.

But my favorite has to be the “Land, Sea and Air” burger, a combination of three tartar sauce-covered meats—beef, chicken and a Filet O’ Fish patty—in one hunk of a sandwich. Why would I keep that baby a secret from my friends?

So, what items are on your favorite secret restaurant menu? Tell us in the comments.

Promise, we'll keep it a secret.


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