WARNING: TO ALL INCOMING COLLEGE FRESHMEN THINKING ABOUT COMMUTING, PLEASE READ!

A couple of months ago, my article on college commuting vs dorms was published. I had to support both sides of it, providing quotes from proud commuters who enjoy this horrific four-year academic lifestyle. However, I personally think commuting to college really sickens me to my stomach. I am a fourth year at San Jose State University, Broadcast Journalism major with lots of credibility in my field of study (good grades and portfolio with lots of potential). Aside from all my bright accomplishments and future, my self-esteem is at an all-time low for a student turning 22 years-old this year. My parents gave me a car to drive despite after 2 car accidents (one my fault and the other is the opposing side's fault). Being considerate at my family's house is very difficult. I want to explore and do things on my own, not having to come back home all the time, however, I get so much pressure from my parents, threatening me to take the car away or revoking my freedom if I come home late again on days they do not approve of me coming home. I will restate what a student said on my published article about dorms: How embarrassing is that when you are almost 22 years-old still getting freedom-revoking threats from your parents? I made the biggest regret of my life, living in San Jose and commuting to college. I do not have full-freedom like other college students and this makes me want to spread the word on being against college commuting. Yes people may think its cheaper, but does cheaper tuition outweigh years of constant nagging, threats to revoke certain things, and bad relationships with parents, all resulting to a low self-esteem, the one issue that a 20-something year-old should not even go through especially during college? I WILL TELL YOU THIS: If you go to college and live away from your parents, they will appreciate you more and when you come back to visit, they will be happy and welcoming. You will not learn how to appreciate your family if you commute to college because you will get constant nagging and threats. This is why people become selfish. Tracing back to their root of the problems, they do not feel like they got what they wanted (full freedom for me), therefore, it is understandable why he or she may be selfish or inconsiderate (not saying that this is completely okay, people still have to learn), but commuting to college does not make one person the opposite of selfish and considerate. At almost 22-years old on a couple of months, I am enforced a curfew, Monday's-Thursday's I have to come home before 10pm. Friday's and Saturday's I have full freedom but coming home at 3am is frowned upon and I will be notified and threatened if my parent's mood is not right the day after. Sunday is a conflicting curfew. I can come home late but not past 11:30pm or I will be threatened again. When I got into my second car accident, I was so worried and scared of my parent's reactions that I even looked forward to seeing the police more than my parents. In fact, I don't even think I wanted to see my parents at all. The officer that saw me with burden on my shoulders even said "You're a grown adult." WOW. Great words from an officer. You see? Commuting to college and living at home will ruin your self-esteem, dragging you down to the pits of hell you would not expect. You do not learn how to be an independent individual because of constant babying as well. Part of the reason why this happens to me is because my parents do not understand the youth generation and cultures. I live with my parents and grandparents. The family runs a hierarchy system. My parents must live up to my grandparent's expectations as a good son/daughter in-law, a good individual to society, and a good parent and I as a son must show obedience to my parents so they can use that as a source to prove to my grandparents they are good parents as well. With all this pressure of course living at home for me is agony. My dad chose to support my parents by living with them. Had my dad lived away from his parents with his family would this mess still be in place? I don't think so.

My plan now is to transfer to another university for a semester, think about studying aborad but instead of another country, its another CSU. I thought there was no hope because of going through all the hassle of paperwork and course articulation matches. But there is a great petition that one can fill out to do an intra-district transfer. One can attend another university for a semester or a year and get credit for it, then move back to their home school. This is my plan because I do not want to leave college with lots of regrets like how I regret things now.

Let my story educate thousands of incoming freshmen even considering commuting. If you are in the same situation as me with no quality of college life, it is not too late. Go do an intra-district transfer ASAP!