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Health & Fitness

Blog: A 'Flighty" Attempted Murder in Cupertino!

Who says the news is for the birds?

An attempted Murder of Crows has occurred in our sleepy town of Cupertino! In the Wake of the events the Buzzards are calling for some action to restore order. A Congregation of Plovers was organized to discuss possible actions to be taken. Outside of the meeting a long silent Lamentation was held by the Swans while Pitying Turtledoves looked on. Inside the meeting scared Penguins Huddled up with one another as Pandemonium broke out among the Parrots! There was not one Peep uttered from the Chickens during the loud Chattering of the Budgerigars and the Clamouring of the Rooks. As a result of the chaos a Posse of Turkey and an angry Mob of Emus joined forces and devised a plan.

They believed that there was an evil Conspiracy by the Ravens to create a Mutation of Thrushes to wreak havoc upon the local foul in Cupertino and that lead to the attempted Murder of innocent Crows.   

Their plan was to Team up with the Ducks and Muster up some Peacocks and lay Siege to the Bittern stronghold. The idea was to send in a Regiment of Flamingos during the first wave of the invasion under the Cover fire from the Coots.  After that a bombing raid by the mighty Pelican Squadron was to take out the enemy Kestrel before they were able to take Flight.

Before any plans were put into action there needed to be an independent panel to investigate the validity of the plan. To the Exaltation of the peaceful Larks the Puffin concluded an Improbability of any success that would ultimately lead to the desecration of many freshly washed cars.   

In the ensuing chaos things took a horrible turn with the accidental Swatting of innocent Phoebe. A special session of Congress was ordered at the behest of the Crows to talk things out and prevent further animosities. The Concentration of the Kingfishers was the most admirable amidst all of the grumbling by the grouse and Quarrel of Sparrows and Juncos. The Wrens Chimed in after getting an Ear-full from the normally unflappable Waxwings.

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Even though the Mockingbirds Ridiculed the whole session it was the Charm of the Hummingbirds that turned Gull’s Squabble around much to the Eagles’ Jubilee.

Thanks to the Wisdom of the Owls they got to the bottom of the carnage that had gripped our poor unsuspecting city. It was determined that the Deceit of the dreaded Lapwings were responsible for tricking a rogue Banditry of Chickadees into the attacking of innocent crows. The only way anyone learned this information was from the Robins trying to Worm their way out of a little Tangle they got into with the Towhees. To the Decent of the Woodpeckers the only punishment they would receive was a harsh Scold from the Scrub Jays.

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