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When Failure May Equal Success

Are you invested enough in your child's success to permit the possibility of failure?

A recent piece in The Atlantic Magazine, Why Parents Need To Let Their Children Fail, touches on the non-content related goals of education and ways that overzealous parents can sometimes short-circuit them.  The gist of the article, that the possibility of occasional failure must be allowed by parents, caused us to again reflect on the role that we believe effective tutoring should play and how that perspective informs our approach with students.

In a prior post, we touched on the balance that we believe effective tutoring should strike between facilitation and struggle, and some examples of ways we use to maintain a balance that ultimately leads a student forward.  The idea is to incrementally provide what a student may need, bolstering confidence, while allowing for enough challenge to help a student acquire new skills and learning that lead to mastery and independence.

A similarly delicate balance should be sought when trying to scaffold students to acquire personal responsibility taking, planning skills and time management mastery.  To be clear however, each student is unique.  The balance that is right for one student may not be right for another, especially if that student struggles with extenuating conditions such as ADHD or issues with executive functioning.  That’s one reason why a custom approach can be helpful.

As the article correctly points out, furthering a student’s confidence and promoting an education in independence are paramount.  This means that students need to be given the opportunity to solve their own problems and draw their own conclusions, while risking the possibility of failure.  This can be an uncomfortable balance to allow when a parent wants the student to experience success.  We believe that the trick is in reminding oneself that “success” should be defined broadly enough to look beyond the immediate result of a grade achieved on a particular assignment.

Communication with a student’s educators is key in achieving this balance needed to facilitate the above.  Talk to your student’s teachers and tutors so that expectations are clear and that what happens at home and in the instructional setting are consistent.

http://www.qwertyed.com/blog/when-failure-may-be-success

http://www.facebook.com/qwertyed

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Just a short thought to get the word out quickly about anything in your neighborhood.
Share something with your neighbors. Write a new post... What's up? Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell something
A Chinese-American couple will dress just like their mainstream American counterparts at the wedding.
Crystal Tai May 1, 2011 at 06:28 pm
Thank you very much for you kind words, Priyanka! The answer to your question is in another articleRead More I wrote for Cupertino Patch, "Five Wedding Reception Venues in Cupertino." Thanks again!
Priyanka Sharma-Sindhar April 27, 2011 at 08:21 pm
This is definitely very useful for the those of us who aren't Chinese, but do have Chinese friends..Read More Thank you, Crystal. What are the popular spots in Cupertino for Chinese weddings?
Anne Ernst (Editor) April 3, 2013 at 12:59 pm
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Debbie Reiley April 3, 2013 at 03:50 am
I too was at this Challenge Day. It was my 6th. I first volunteered because I watched the programRead More on MTV "If You Really Knew Me" when my son was being severely bullied in middle school and saw the program was offered when he was a freshman in high school. My company strongly supports me volunteering for this and allows me to take the day off work to attend. I am continually humbled by what these teens share and saddened at what some of them have experienced in their short lives. This program is so valuable. I think every school should offer it and every parent should attend. It helps us to realize that we need to think twice before we judge or assume things about others when we know nothing about them. It is the volunteering opportunity that I look forward to participating in every year.
Anne Ernst (Editor) March 30, 2013 at 06:30 am
Carrie, Thanks for allowing me to be a part of it again.
Janice Chua March 28, 2013 at 06:45 pm
It was fun hosting you all at Bitter+Sweet, Anne!
Loy Oppus-Moe March 28, 2013 at 02:40 pm
A big "Thank You" to Anne, Pete, and 53 other professionals who opened up their companiesRead More and organizations to give our students hands-on experience of what life might look like for them post-high school. Job Shadowing brings relevance to education!